Support system

The Black Girl’s Guide to Freshman Year

Traffic has picked up. The lines in Target are a little longer, and Twitter is filled with pictures of teary-eyed parents and hashtags repping the Class of 2020. It can only mean one thing, Freshman Year! I have spent the majority of my career on college campuses and the excitement of welcoming a new class of students is only rivaled by that of graduation. The glee, anxiety, and absolute wonder are all palpable as you walk around campus. The first few weeks are a huge adjustment as you are making new friends, figuring out how to live with a stranger, learning all the names of the buildings, and learning the words to your new alma mater. Many of the decisions and choices you make your freshman year can either set you on the course for success or leave you with some serious regret. In an effort to help you make the most of your first year at your new home, here are some tips you may find helpful. Enjoy!


Where My Girls At? The Importance of a Strong Support System

Photo Credit: ABC
Photo Credit: ABC

On last week’s episode of Scandal we saw what it looks like when you have a true ride or die friend in your corner. When Abby was shaking under a desk facing an incredibly stressful situation she called the only person who could handle it, Liv. And what did Liv do? She didn’t pass judgement, she didn’t ridicule Abby for overreacting, she simply showed up with a choice of new dresses and asked, “What do you want?” How many of us have that person or people in our lives? Better yet, how many of us truly allow them to show up for us? Tell me if this sounds familiar. “I’m the rock in my group of friends. I’m the one that everyone calls when there is a problem, but I don’t share my problems because I don’t want to be a burden to my friends. They already have enough going on.” Now Math is not my strongest area but I do know when something is not adding up and unfortunately, too many of us are practicing this flawed logic. We pride ourselves on being strong and a great friend while in the same breath robbing others of being a great friend to us.

Research suggests that a strong support system is key in maintaining our mental health. Having people we can count on provides protective factors against depression, it enhances our sense of confidence and esteem, buffers us against stress, makes us feel less isolated,  and helps to hold us accountable when we set goals. However, in order for us to reap these benefits, our support system must be both functional and utilized. A support system is not just a bunch of people who call when they need a ride or who update you on the latest office gossip. Our support system should be made up of people who actually show up when they say they will, allow us to show all parts of ourselves and who provide us with what we need and in the ways that we need it. This is not something that happens overnight and it may take some time to curate this group but it is well worth the effort. Here are some tips that may help you to create and better utilize your support system. (more…)